Finding Heaven
by Marree
Summary: Quistis has to make a journey to find out the truth about Seifer's death. (BTW: for the people who read its All Coming Back to Me, this is in that timeline and is what could happen after that story.)
1. Finding Heaven (part 1)

Finding Heaven (Part 1)  
by Mariye  
  
======  
Disclaimer: Well, you asked for a continuation to Its All Coming Back to Me Now, so here it is. I don't own FF8 and its characters.  
======  
  
Finding Heaven Journal  
Day 1.  
  
Its me journal.  
  
I have to go now on my journey. I have to find him.  
  
I intend to make this a written record of everything that happens.  
  
I already can tell that this is a journey I will want to remember.  
  
I will write when I can, and I will try to include important conversations.  
  
---  
  
"Are you sure you have to leave Quisty?" Selphie watched as I tied back my now butchered hair in a ponytail and made sure it was tight. I pulled on the grey trenchcoat Seifer had left on my bed the day he left for his final mission. I had always thought he left it as a promise. As if the necklace alone wasn't promise enough that he would return.  
  
"I can't live like this. Wondering if he's still out there."  
  
"If he was still out there, he would have returned for you."  
  
"Maybe he can't. All I know is that I can't go on with these doubts."  
  
"Quisty, you've been acting like this ever since that dragon attack. What happened then?"  
  
"I saw some... scenes, events. I have to go." I picked up Save the Queen and curled it around my wrist, and looked away from Selphie. "I need to know the truth, no matter it may be."  
  
"He could be dead."  
  
"At least then I can set my mind to rest." I shook my head and looked at her. "I will return. No matter what. You know that."  
  
"Yeah. I know. But you should tell the others."   
  
"Yeah, but I told you, and looked what happened." I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. "I have to go now, or I'll miss the train to Timber."  
  
"Alright. I won't tell them you've gone after Seifer until you have a good head start."  
  
"Don't tell them I went after Seifer. You know how everyone still thinks of him, even though he did reform. Tell them I went to find Heaven. My Heaven. That way they'll think I'm looking for maybe a lost family member. Maybe looking for something from my past."  
  
"Fine. Just take care of yourself."  
  
"I will." I walked quickly down the hall, into the main hall, and eventually out of Garden.  
  
He is out there. Somewhere. I ran along the road to Balamb, ignoring the bitebugs that flew past me. Selphie wouldn't be able to keep that secret. Not for very long anyway.  
  
I knew at that moment that I would most likely only have a week to try and find him, before everyone would come after me.  
  
I hurried into Balamb. First I'll go to the inn. See if they'll let me change clothes there. Then I'll get on the train. I have to go straight to Deiling though, otherwise everyone might catch me.  
  
I slowed as I walked down the narrow Balamb road. People here know me and if they see me acting unusual, they might start to suspect something.   
  
---  
  
Its me again.   
  
On the train to Deiling.  
  
I'm almost at the point of singing Selphie's patented train song.  
  
But I'm too excited. Or am I nervous?  
  
What will I find? Can he still be alive?   
  
And yet I have this nagging doubt. Despite his past attitude, Seifer changed when he returned to Garden. And he wouldn't break a promise to me. He promised to return.  
  
But now I'm making myself depressed.  
  
I can't let myself think that he's gone, or I know I won't be able to do this.  
  
I'm getting tired now. I'll write more tomorrow when I reach Deiling.  
  
------  
  
Journal   
Day 2.  
  
I'm in a small boarding house in Deiling, doing research.  
  
Even though its only been about 9 hours since I last wrote, a lot has happened.  
  
I saw Squall, Rinoa, and Selphie searching the streets of Deiling for me, and I'm sure Irvine and Zell are around also.  
  
I guess she told them everything. I never should have told her what I was doing. But then, I honestly couldn't trust any of them with this. I have to leave tonight.   
  
I also got some helpful information from an army post near the presidential residence. I broke in and hacked into their system, seeing what information they had on the crash. It turns out the two other members had been injured in the crash, sent to the desert prison, and died out there. There's no mention at all of Seifer. As far as they know, there were only SeeDs involved.   
  
That gives me a little hope. Somehow I knew though that they wouldn't find Seifer, no matter what. Like Raijin says, that isn't his style.   
  
I also made copies of all the files and maps that might help me. They all seem to point to Winhill.   
  
I have to go. The sun is setting and I want to get out of town.  
  
------  
  
Journal  
Day 3.  
  
I hate tents.  
  
I thought I had it set up perfectly, then it comes crashing down on me.  
  
Then the storm started.  
  
Imagine what everyone would say if they found out the prized prodigy instructor can't pitch a tent.   
  
So I just ran into a forest. I don't remember where it was at first. I just was going for shelter. When I got in, I saw what I didn't expect to see.   
  
I saw the shuttle wreckage. I had no idea I was near the crash site. It was heavily damaged, but it was mainly the hull area. I guess when Galbadia found some remains, it was just a few panels and seats and minor things.  
  
Of course I went inside. I rummaged through everything. Mainly storage compartments though. I guess I was looking for missing supplies that would hint at Seifer surviving.   
  
Everything was there.   
  
Then I looked over at the computers. Everything was busted up. Just when I was about to think I hit a dead end, I found the black box.  
  
You know how black boxes are indestructible? Well, I never believed that until I found it. Inside was a tape recording of the last three minutes before the crash.  
  
"Seifer! The enemy's firing on us!"  
  
"Keep calm! There's no way in hell I'm letting some Galbadian retards take us down."  
  
"They've hit out tail!"  
  
"I SAID I'd get us out of this!"  
  
"Aaaargh! The suction!"  
  
"Quick! You two get in your seats and buckle up!"  
  
"Murphey!"  
  
"Hold on Henal!"  
  
"I can't!"  
  
"DAMMIT!"  
  
[Warning, engines failing. Shutting down.]  
  
"Hell! Quistis? Can you hear me? I love you! And I will get out of this! Don't give up on me! You know I'll never let some Galbadian jerks take me down!"  
  
That was when the tape ended.   
  
I know he has to be out there somewhere now.   
  
I'm saving the tape for Garden. At the very least I'll have come back with useful information. We'll all know what happened in the last few minutes.   
  
The rain's stopping now, so I have to leave the shuttle and go.   
  
The only thing that scares me is, with all this hope I'm being given, what will happen if I find out he truely is dead and it is taken away.  
  
------  
  
Journal  
Day 4.   
  
I made it.  
  
I made it to Heaven.  
  
It isn't what I expected though.   
  
I'm writing this in the flower shop in Winhill. And sadly, I have no good news as of late. When I came in asking about a young blond soldier with a scar, people looked at me like I was crazy. Everyone except for the florist acted like I was a lunatic. I don't blame them though. If I saw someone coming into Garden who was all dirty and who looked like a mess, I would think he was a lunatic too.  
  
But luckily Mae didn't see me in that way.  
  
"Excuse me? Can you help me?" I looked at the kindly old woman sorting through flowers.  
  
"Why yes young lady, oh my goodness! Are you alright? You look a fright." She walked over to me and tried to take Seifer's coat off my shoulders. I pulled away.  
  
"I'm fine, thank you. I was just wondering, have you seen a soldier around here? He's about 6'2", blond hair, blue eyes, and he has a scar from here to here." I made a gesture across my forehead. Mae walked over to a table in the center of the room. "He's very stubborn and sometimes has a little bit of an attitude. His name is Seifer Almasy."  
  
"Here, sit down. No, I don't recall meeting a young man like that recently?" Mae went over to a small kitchenette. "Would you like some tea?"  
  
"No thank you. I have to be going, I have to keep looking for him." I tried to get up, but Mae came over and forced me to sit back down.  
  
"Nonsense, stop and rest a while. You look like you've been traveling forever."  
  
"Have you had any strangers around here lately? Anyone brought in who might have been wounded?" She shook her head, then stopped.  
  
"Well, I do remember a John Doe, but that event wasn't recent. If I recall right, it was bout..."  
  
"10 months ago?" I know its impolite to finish other's sentences, but I was too excited at the chance of there being hope. I stood up at the table and ran over to her.  
  
"Yes, that seems right."  
  
"Do you remember what happened to him?"  
  
"Nope. When you get to be my age sweety, you're lucky if you can remember to get dressed in the mornings." Mae turned and started to boil a pot of water. "I do remember he was in really bad shape though. Maybe you should check the cemetary."  
  
It was then my heart dropped.  
  
Mae saw how dismayed I was and insisted I stay here for the night. She wouldn't let me head out and check the graveyard today, but she promised that if I'd wait she'd give me some lilies to place on his gravestone, if he was there.   
  
Seifer can't be dead.  
  
I can't even think about the possibility of him being dead.  
  
------  
  
Journal  
Day 5  
  
So here I am.  
  
Wandering around a graveyard.  
  
Technically I'm sitting now, next to Raine Loire's grave. I didn't find anything. When I came out here this morning I expected too much work. I thought I'd be searching all day. Surprisingly the cemetary was much smaller than I thought it would be. And everything was neatly set up in sections.   
  
No John Doe.  
  
No Seifer Almasy.  
  
The only name here I did know was Raine Loire.  
  
So I put the lilies I was given there.   
  
I figured at least someone should be able to enjoy them.  
  
Who is that man?  
  
Right now a man is coming towards here. He seems depressed, sullen. He carries a cane and lumbers along. He's blind. I wonder if he's all alone. If so its sad. No one deserves to be alone. And he looks about my age. To be that young and blind. I feel sorry for him. I wonder what he is doing in a cemetary. I wonder if he knows that I'm here watching him.   
  
He stops and looks in my direction, seeing but not seeing anything at all. I stop writing and breathing. He dismisses whatever made him look and goes back to walking. He's heading toward the cliff?  
  
I have to go. He could fall off that cliff and kill himself. I couldn't help Seifer. I have to help him.  
  
---  
  
He tried to kill himself.  
  
I can't believe he would intentionally try to kill himself.  
  
======  
  
[to be continued...] 


	2. Finding Heaven (part 2)

Finding Heaven (Part 2)  
by Mariye  
  
======  
Disclaimer: I don't own FF8 or its characters.  
BTW: I decided it would be too hard to write this part as a POV, so its  
back to normal again.  
======  
  
--[At a small shack just outside Winhill...]---  
  
"Why did you do that?" Quistis asked as she walked in, closing the door behind her.  
  
"Does it look like I have much to live for anymore?" The man said as he felt for a chair and sat down.  
  
"You have someone to live for." Quistis said, reaching out to touch his hand.  
  
"Had. I had someone to live for. But Now I've changed. I can't be what I once was. All I am now is a cripple. I don't want to ruin your life."  
  
"But you already did." Quistis said as she sat down on his bed. "After you didn't come back from that mission, you did ruin my life. I spent endless days and nights preoccupied by thoughts of you. I couldn't stand it. Everyday I was only just barely getting by."  
  
He turned to face her voice.  
  
"Better than returning and taking away the only life you knew."  
  
"How did it happen?"  
  
"Some kind of blunt trama to the head. When you're this far out in the boondocks, there are no real doctors who can diagnose or even heal this kind of thing. All that matters now is that I'm blind, and I'm a weak link." Seifer turned around and felt for the one of the wooden chairs at the table. Quistis got up and started to try to lead him to it.  
  
"I don't need your help. I've managed long enough on my own."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
He sat down.  
  
"So why now? Why all of a sudden are you out and looking? I always thought that if you would come, it would have been a matter of days after the crash."  
  
"Are you saying you're mad at me?" Quistis said, folding her arms across her chest.  
  
"Well, if you loved me so much, then why didn't you ever come looking for me?"  
  
"Well if you loved ME so much, how come you never came back?"  
  
"I can barely support myself. How was I supposed to get from here all the way to Balamb?"  
  
Quistis looked down at her feet. She shifted back and forth uneasily.  
  
"Why did you come?"  
  
"I came to find my destiny."  
  
"Your destiny, your future, is in Garden. In SeeD."  
  
"My destiny is to be with you."  
  
Seifer got up suddenly and pushed past her. Quistis grabbed his arm as he tried to walk out. He stopped and turned towards her.  
  
"So why did you come?"  
  
"Because of you. Oh, and you almost got me killed." Quistis smiled at the thought. She knew it would get his attention.  
  
"Sorry, you must be thinking of some other dashing man. I was here and I'm not able to be in two places at once."  
  
"I was thinking about you and a Red Dragon attacked me. Nearly killed me. Then, while I was watching my life flashing before me, I noticed one thing. You were in every scene. Every memory. I woke up asking for you. And when I saw you weren't there, I couldn't take it. I set out, to find out what happened to you."  
  
"Now you know. Goodbye."  
  
"You don't love me anymore?" Quistis slowly released his arm.  
  
"...No. Now go."  
  
"I can't." Quistis shook her head. Seifer reached for her hand.  
  
"Why can't you leave?"  
  
"Because you're lying. Your upper lip always twitches a little when you lie. Your lip was twitching."  
  
"I can't believe you'd remember something like that."  
  
"I'm an instructor. I notice little things like that. I have to level with you Almasy. Since you've been gone, everything seems pointless to me. I have nothing worth living for and no one. I need you."  
  
Seifer shook his head.  
  
"You don't need me."  
  
"Seifer feeling like he's worthless? With no ego?" Quistis hoped she could bring back his smirk. There still was no emotion.  
  
"Fine. I love you. I always will. But our paths were only meant to cross for a short time. I'm sorry. Quistis, you have to go back to your new life." Seifer led her to the door.  
  
"Thats the way you think it has to be..." Quistis whispered.  
  
"Its the only way it can be." Seifer said as he pushed her out.  
  
"Goodbye..." Quistis said as she walked out.  
  
---  
  
"Well, its nice to have you back." Cid said as he walked around his desk. Quistis stood at attention in front of him.  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
"We were worried. Its not like you to run off like that." Cid said while looking through the papers she had brought back. "Oh, I almost forgot. At ease."  
  
Quistis relaxed and folded her arms across her chest.  
  
"I know. But it was important."  
  
"Yes, after seeing all that you brought back, I can tell. Did you find what you were looking for?"  
  
"I did sir."  
  
"Did things turn out the way you thought they would?"  
  
"No sir."  
  
"Please Quistis. All these 'sirs' aren't necessary. Now, I know that this is a little sudden, but I have a new assignment for you." Cid walked right up to her. "Of course, this is a special one. It is also optional."  
  
"What is it?" Quistis looked at him curiously.  
  
"There is a small town in the Galbadia region... monsters always seem to find there way into town. They have asked if we could send them a monster hunter. Someone to patrol the town. Keep it safe."  
  
"What town?" Quistis's heart jumped.  
  
"Winhill." Cid watched as Quistis suddenly started grinning from ear to ear. When she saw him looking, she stopped.   
  
"I thought you'd like that. So, can I take it you will be accepting?"  
  
"Yes." Quistis said, now slightly smiling.  
  
"Good. We've already purchased a house for you in town. It was once a tavern, run by a young woman named Raine. I think it was called Heaven. Anyway, once you get there you can keep the tavern running if you'd like, but mainly you'd be there to protect the town."  
  
"We'll see once I get settled.  
  
---  
  
Quistis banged on the door. Hoping that the occupant of the house was still there.  
  
~Come on Seifer... be there... please be there...~  
  
She looked around the front of the house.   
  
~A window!~  
  
Quistis walked over and tested to see if it was unlocked. When she saw it wasn't, she slowly opened it and crawled inside.  
  
"Its not nice to sneak into other people's homes." She felt a gunblade's tip in the middle of her back.  
  
"And its impolite to not answer the door." She stood up.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I want to tell you my good news. I live here now."  
  
"What? What about your dreams? And Garden?"  
  
"My dreams changed slightly. And I'm still with Garden. I'm now the town's official monster hunter."  
  
"So why are you here? You want me to congradulate you? Kudos Quisty."  
Seifer put away his gunblade and walked away.  
  
"No. I'm here for a partner. I'm planning on running the Heaven tavern again too. I'll need someone to watch it when I go out on runs."  
  
"How can a blind man watch a bar?"  
  
"Well you were able to know when I snuck in."  
  
"That's because you're no good at sneaking around." Seifer stopped by his dresser.  
  
"Please. I'll only ask you once. I need you around. Even if you think I don't, I do." Quistis walked around.  
  
"Two conditions."  
  
"What?"  
  
"One, don't baby me. Two, you have to help me try to get some of my skills back. You're an instructor. It should be no problem for you."  
Seifer kept his head down. He was certain Quistis would turn down his conditions.  
  
"I accept. I've come a long way, and now that I've seen what Heaven can be, there's no way I'm giving it up."  
  
======  
  
[the end]  



End file.
